It is remarkable how I am never quite clear about the motives for any of my decisions. Is that a sign of confusion, of inner dishonesty, or is it a sign that we are guided without our knowing, or is it both?
Today the reading speaks dreadfully harshly of God’s incorruptible judgement. He certainly sees how much personal feeling, how much anxiety there is in today’s decision, however brave it may seem. The reasons one gives for an action to others and to one’s self are certainly inadequate. One can give a reason for everything. In the last resort one acts from a level which remains hidden from us. So one can only ask God to judge us and forgive us.
At the end of the day I can only ask God to give a merciful judgement on today and all its decisions. It is now in his hand.
I don’t know where I am. But he knows, and in the end all doings and actions will be pure and clear.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer